Child psychologist, Dr. Deirdre Brander, answers questions submitted by the Yoto community on Instagram for the The Big Switch Off.
How do I explain to my kids why they can’t use a screen right now?
Children often want a clear, consistent answer. You don’t need to over-explain just
anchor your response in routine and values.
For example:
“We’re not using screens right now because it’s family time, and that’s
important.”“Your brain needs a break—screens are for later.”
The key is to keep it short, calm, and predictable. Research shows that children feel safer
when parents set boundaries with confidence.
I hate relying on screens, but I need five minutes’ peace sometimes. What can I do instead?
First, know this: every parent needs a break. Using a screen occasionally doesn’t make
you a “bad” parent. But if you’d like alternatives, try:
A “peace box” filled with puzzles, colouring, LEGO, or audio stories, .
Setting a timer: “Here’s 5 minutes of play, then I’ll come back.”
Calming activities like playdough, stickers, or drawing (low-mess is best when you
need quiet).
Children learn to self-soothe through repeated practice, so every time you swap a screen
for another option, you’re building their independence.
What type of screens have the worst impact on children?
Not all screens are equal. Research suggests:
Phones and tablets (with fast-changing, interactive apps) are most linked to
shorter attention spans and emotional dysregulation.
Television tends to have a lesser effect, especially if content is calm and age-
appropriate, because children are more passive viewers.
Social media is the most concerning for older children and teens due to
comparison, exposure to harmful content, and disrupted sleep.
So, if screens are used, think about content and context—is it calming or stimulating,
shared or solo, appropriate or overwhelming?
What’s the impact of being on my phone around my kids?
Children are wired to seek connection. Studies show that when parents are absorbed in
phones, children are more likely to act out, not because they’re “naughty,” but because
they’re trying to get attention. Over time, children may also model that constant
scrolling.
The good news is you don’t need to be perfect. Even small moments of looking up,
smiling, and making eye contact show your child: “You matter more than this screen.”
What screen-free activities would you recommend?
Screen-free doesn’t need to mean complicated. The most effective activities are simple,
repetitive, and engaging:
For younger children: blocks, playdough, sensory bins, listening to music, water
play, sticker books.For school-age children: board games, card games, backyard soccer, drawing,
imaginative play, helping with cooking.For families: walks, reading together, gardening, cooking a meal, or creating small
rituals like “family Lego build night.”
The bonus? Many of these activities strengthen fine motor skills, problem-solving, and
family.
In a hurry? You can find free print-out-and-play activities provided by Yoto.